Losing it all because of a vaccine.
What you have is my YouTube Vlog of my last week at work. I am a New York City public school teacher. I became a teacher through the NYC Teaching Fellows, cohort 27. Basically I began my teaching career in 2016 while going to graduate school for Special Education. I graduated with my Masters of Science in Education, my program was special education for urban adolescents. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. Busted my ass, dragging my son to night classes after working during the day. Thuggin it out for my future. And now all of that is on hold because I refuse to inject myself with medicine that is suppose to help with the Covid-19 pandemic. It doesn’t prevent me from getting covid or spreading it, just from having severe symptoms.
So because I would rather trust in my natural immune system I can not work in my career field…my passion being in the classroom.
This has been lingering over my head since the mayor announced this mandate in August. Out of all the city agencies in the city, only teachers and medical professionals are being required to be vaccinated. The way my colleagues in the DOE turned on those of us who were choosing not to be vaccinated was scary. The “holier than though” commentary for my life choices. Choices that shouldn’t effect them because if the vaccine is effective you have nothing to worry about. Nah because I chose my natural immunity I was the reason Covid-19 keeps spreading.
Never mind the fact that the city is operating as though there isn’t a health crisis, nah they are only concerned about the safety of the public when it comes to forcing this vaccine on us.
The broadway show Aladdin was closed because of an outbreak. Only vaccinated people are allowed in venues. And Electric Zoo also had an outbreak, where if you were NOT vaccinated you had to provide proof with a negative test and the vaccinated were free to enter without providing any proof that they were not sick.
Vaccinated people can still catch and spread covid, often being sick without having any symptoms. What’s the point of a vaccine that doesn’t work is what I ask myself. I am not writing for someone to change my opinion on the vaccine. I am NOT anti vaccine.
I do not want to inject myself with this medicine and be fucked because my body doesn’t react right to it. I have issues with regular medicines and soaps when it comes to my body. Its so sensitive to everything over the counter. For example, non drowsy cold medicine makes me sleepy and I feel nautious taking it. I’ve been like this my whole life. Outside of Advil or Tylenol I try to stay away from any medicine and use natural remedies to support my bodies immune system.
I shouldn’t have to explain myself and it sucks that I feel I constantly have to defend my vaccine choice.
I do not want to get anyone sick, I do not want to get sick. Period. How can I trust in science when the information that is being presented to me isn’t all the truth. They aren’t sharing potential side effects of the vaccine. Any data on it is like finding a needle in a haystack. And the lack of accurate information is frustrating.
Now being forced out of my job because of my choice. A job that I am passionate about, that I know for a fact I am making an impact on my students lives. I teach in my neighborhood and my students deserve to have a teacher that is completely invested in them. A lot of my students don’t have consistent people in their day to day lives that are invested in them. A teacher who understands and can speak to their struggle because I been there myself. I look like them. I am from where they are from. And I believe in them. No matter how rough my days can be, I always show up clean slate ready to plant seeds for them to aspire to reach their greatest potential. Its more than academics. Rita Pierson says children don’t learn from people they don’t like and building relationships is my greatest natural skill.
I contemplated going against my own judgement and just getting the vaccine so I can teach and every time I did, something came to light that told me to trust my intuition.
This whole situation sucks. I am trying to look at the silver lining though. Every ending allows for something new to begin so I am putting my faith in God and getting clear on some of my passions. Starting over is scary as fuck BUT it also inspires so much hope because at the end of the day what do I have to lose. I have already lost it all. Like Fab says in Dave East’s song Levelin Up….”The best part about coming from the bottom. Is there ain't no place you can go but up. New levels bring new devils, never let it turn you devil. Call them plays so the team win, Coach K to my blue devils”.
Mood Music
Reflecting on the highs and lows…putting my faith in God. When I need inspo and motivation I listen to Dave East and Nipsey Hussle. Time to tighten up and grind. No point in crying over spilled milk. Adapt.
Everybody’s Ride Out Pictures…
The biggest ride out of the year in NYC…ride at your own risk…I pushed myself so much yesterday but I made it! It sucks when there is fuckery, people fighting or trying to steal bikes and bully others….however the silver lining is how so many people linked on one day to purge the city….for the love of riding bike 💪🏽🤟🏾
These are all my raw photos no editing from the ride-out. I shot on my DJI Pocket 2…for a point and shoot shooter…I think I do a dope job of capturing the vibe 🤷🏽♀️.
Later this week I will have my vlog from Everybody’s Ride Out….stay tuned 👀
Someone caught me putting in work in Time Square 🤟🏾
Happy Birthday HipHop!!!
Have you ever seen Brown Sugar with Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs? My man recently put me onto this movie, I dont know if he knows this but I really like the movie because I could relate to Sydneys love for hip hop. The entire movie is dope but that element made me like it 10xs more and the fact that my boyfriend put me on makes the movie a lil more meaningful.
Thats the inspiration behind this post, a dedication to HipHop. I am a fan of music in general, any genre if I can connect with the energy of the artist thats all I need. From house music, salsa, freestyle, rnb, pop, reggae, dancehall, reggaeton, if I can feel the beat within my heart I will fuck with it.
HipHop music though is a different love. Its the culture that comes with the music. The fashion. The art. The production. The Hunger. The Struggle. The Pain. The Resilience. The Swag. The ENERGY of everything that makes Hip Hop a beautiful thing.
Now my love isn’t an intimate love, its genuine love and appreciation because of all the roles it has played in my life. For me its the beauty in the pain. HipHop has been my therapist helping me work through lifes challenges, heartache, grief, happiness, every twist and turn Hip Hop was there to support me through it all.
Its my go to for inspiration Nipsey Hussle and Big Sean always are on my manifestation energy. The pain of betrayal and struggle of loss in Kiing Shooter and Dave Easts story telling. The de ja vu artist like Jadakiss, The Lox, Fabolous all bring when I listen to throwbacks from my adolscents. I read somewhere the music you listen to as a teen shapes the type of person you become and it makes sense why I am heavy on loyalty and being authetic to myself.
Its the beauty of the fashion that comes from the streets. The graffitti all over the city that some people would say is vandalism, but I see as works of art that belong in museums. Its my community that other people not from here want to be apart of. It so many stories and possibilities. Its motivation. It talent that I wish I could play with words and tell stories to capture peoples attention and that they can relate to and offering that little light when everything seems to be filled with darkness. Its the feeling of not being alone in the struggle regardless of what hustle you invest in to make it out. Its the opportunity because my story matters in HipHop. Its being apart of HipHop in the way I dress, talk, and manuever.
HipHop is expression and an outlet. I cant rhyme or put together a beat but if you go through my instagram reelz song choice or lyrics on a post, they are the soundtrack to my life. Usually relating to things I was going through at that time and the song lyric or song part expresses it perfectly for me to validate my experience without speaking on specifics and documenting it with my post like an online diary.
Better yet keep scrolling and you will see how I participate and show up for HipHop. Supporting my favorite artist and popping out to events for a chance to be apart of their story…I popped out on Fordham Road when Jada dropped The Last Kiss and had a meet and greet at Best Buy. I popped out at the Pyramid Club and Irving Plaza and the Playstation theater watching Dave East growth over the years. I even popped out for bike rides hosted by Dave East and pop up shops supporting album drops. Its a return of love for the energy put into the culture that helps me so much. And not just popular artist, I love open mics showcasing talent of those taking a chance to pursue their passion using HipHop as their own outlet.
HipHop means so much to me, has grown with me and held me down through points in my life where I had no one. The love runs deeper then the clout of the genre. Its in the soul, raw and authentic of everyday struggle and aspirations to make it out… put to a beat matched with a flow delivering therapy in ways that only real fans of the genre really know.
Heres a collection of my photos dedicated to HipHop from my experience as a fan. 📸💯
My Digital Scrapbook
I document so much in the form of pictures and videos. I needed to have my own space away from the distractions of major platforms to focus in on the beauty of the world through the experience of ME.
This will be the hub for everything for me. I wish I woulda taken the leap of faith sooner BUT you know how they say better late then never…thats the type of time I am on. My social media platforms are a general overview of who I am… my blog is a more in depth day 2 day look into my world and my thinking. The good, the bad, the ugly…transparency and realness is how I always move in my day to day life….so I hope to bring that energy here to my blog through my writing, pictures, videos and other creative content.
If your here, thank you for fucking with me. I hope you enjoy the vibe I am aiming to create. My perspective navigating this world as a NYC city girl…born and raised.
So I will leave you with these scanned pictures that I took on Polaroid camera. I love film cameras…I wish they weren’t so expensive because I would shoot everyday on them. A picture is worth more than a thousand words, they tell stories and offer you a temporary escape into someome elses reality because the story like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
GirlsOnly x Packer Unity Bike Tour Ride.
I am beyond proud that I was able to be apart of this event and was able to collab with Girls Only and Packer. Part of the proceeds from this collab go to My Power Foundation which raises money for a battered woman shelter. I was in an abusive relationship with my sons biological father for 7 years. I think the work everyone involved is doing is defintiley beyond inspiring and so important. Society and people will try to say, just leave…its never that simple. I had support from my family and it took me having my son to leave for good. When shit didnt change even with him being born something went off in my head that it will never change. My son deserved his mom to be happy and did not deserve being in a toxic enviroment.
I pray for any woman who has been or is still in it. The strong move in silence and through your struggle you are resilient. 🤍🤍🧿🧿
Check Out the video above to catch the vibe of the ride.
You can purchase the merch seen in the video with the following links, keep in mind the proceeds go to GirlsOnly and My Power Foundation so lets make sure they sell out!
PACKER X GIRLS ONLY UNITY BIKE TOUR CYCLING JERSEY