Morning Thoughts, Talking to God, Talking to Myself

I’ve been thinking… the way God gives me ideas? The way the universe downloads things straight into my spirit? Creative pitches, concepts, directions they come to me so clearly. And then I sit here wondering:

Am I insulting God by not acting on them?

Like, am I disrespecting the universe by procrastinating?

By letting fear get in my way?

By letting my own overthinking keep me still?

Because why would an idea come to me in the first place if God wasn’t going to clear a path for me to achieve it? Why would I be shown something if I wasn’t meant to build it?

So now I’m like…

What is it in me that I need to figure out so I can actually move on these ideas instead of letting myself stay stagnant?

Like, bro… I have t-shirts already packaged with a lighter and a sticker. Ready to sell. And they’re just sitting on a shelf collecting dust.

I have a seed that already popped already showing life and I still haven’t cleaned my tent from the last grow. That tent is literally waiting for me, and I’m like, “damn, I’ll get to it later,” knowing damn well the plant is on its way regardless.

And yes, part of it is that I genuinely have so much on my plate.

I want to do everything, but I’m only one person.

That’s just the side-hustle side of me the ideas God puts in my mind, the content concepts, the little pushes I feel in my spirit.

Now if we’re talking about my everyday life?

I have my son to take care of. Make sure he eats, get him to school, get myself to work. Then I’m dealing with other people’s kids all day and some of them come in with the worst attitudes. The amount of energy it takes to not take things personally? To reverse-psychology a kid into being productive? It’s a lot. It drains you in a way people don’t understand unless they’ve lived it.

Then there’s my mental state.

The grief I carry about my brother every single day.

And not just him… but the other people I’ve lost.

My best friend from college, Shawn.

My homegirl Michelle.

The one who spent years telling me to start posting on YouTube consistently. She saw the vision for me before I even understood it. And even after all the losses, I still haven’t been consistent in the way she believed I could be. And that sits on my heart sometimes.

So yeah… these are just my morning reflections. Thoughts in my head. Conversations I have with God when I’m quiet and honest with myself.

And at the same time, I’m so grateful.

I woke up today.

I have a roof over my head.

My son has food. I have food.

I have money in my pocket.

I have a great man someone who genuinely puts in effort, who takes care of me in ways I don’t even have to ask for.

So when I really think about it…

What more do I need to start?

What excuse do I really have left?

Because if God gave me the idea, the vision, the path…maybe the only thing left to do is take the first step.

Gettin back to the simple things

Ive started riding my bike again consistently since I broke my arm the 4th of July. Not so much at rideouts…even though I’ll pop out for a ride depending who is hosting and the type of riders that may pop out. I just have to be extra careful riding cuz my arm still isnt fully rehabilitated. At the same time riding is helping gain my stength and stretch when I cruise at my own pace. And Ive started shootin more being outside. As much as my elbow injury sucked with the pain and discomfort it has me slowing down and gettin back in tune with me and appreciaing the little things.

Smacked Thoughts from a Tired Educator & Mom:

Che said, “A nation that does not read is easy to deceive.” And whew… I feel that in my bones.

As a teacher in NYC, I see the school system failing our kids every single day. We’re pushing students through grades because of their age, not their skills. The “No Child Left Behind” mindset left too many behind on purpose. It feels like they want our kids to be illiterate, passive, and distracted. That’s how they keep us from asking questions. From resisting. From changing things.

As a parent, I struggle too. My son doesn’t want to read at home…even for 30 minutes. And I get it. It’s hard to want to read books when the world outside feels like a dystopian movie. The Met Gala plays on our screens while people sleep on trains. The rich dress like kings while folks can’t afford groceries. Palestine is under attack and we’re being censored here at home.

Sometimes I feel like an ostrich with my head in the sand, just trying to focus on mine and my son’s survival. But then I feel guilty because what if I’m not preparing us for what’s really coming?

This country was built on revolution, but we’re being told to sit down, shut up, and scroll. It’s giving Hunger Games energy.

So here I am. Processing. Thinking. Teaching. Growing. Disrupting. Trying to find balance between survival and responsibility. Because if the system is the trap…then I’m raising my son to be the one who disrupts it.

1 Month in Cookies University

Cookies Impact doesn’t get the attention that Cookies Cannabis and Clothing does, but it certainly should. Cookies Impact is Cookies' social equity program, essentially a “weed college” Cookies University. It covers the entire supply chain process from seed to sale. The program involves a thorough selection process, starting with a written application followed by a video interview with Amanda Friedman, the director and visionary behind Cookies U. 

The program offers a blend of academic learning online and insightful sessions with sponsors like Aroya and Native Humboldt, as well as Cookies' Media Manager and Cultivation Manager at their research and development facility in Humboldt. The best part is living on-site at the One Log R&D Facility, with the program covering my home expenses for the two months I’m here, plus a stipend: for groceries. Not having to worry about bills allows me to fully focus on learning and retaining the knowledge being taught.

If you ask me my favorite part of being here halfway through, I couldn’t give you just one answer. The hands-on experience with the plants, from cutting clones in the nursery to working in the OneLog Greenhouse, has been incredible. Horticulture therapy in action, being hands-on with the plant, and the entire welcoming and knowledgeable staff make the experience even better. It's inspiring to see so many people passionate about the cannabis plant.

The field trips to partner companies, where we see different manufacturing processes in person may, complement what we learn online or in the classroom. Visiting Arcata Extracts and learning about the extraction process, although challenging, has given me a much better understanding than before I arrived. Making my own tincture and topical with Lindsey Renner, the owner of Native Humboldt, was another highlight. 

I was completely blown away by the Conception Nurseries and tissue culture facility and Natura's massive cultivation and manufacturing facilities. Both can house millions of cannabis plants at one time. It was impressive to see that from seed to sale, every part of the process at Natura involved human interaction. Witnessing all the moving parts necessary to make different types of products is mind-blowing. The care and attention that go into tissue cultures at Conception Nursery, along with the hands-on learning back at OneLog, have been invaluable.

One month in and I can say Cookies Impact is a testament to what true commitment to social equity looks like, and Im hype for what the next month brings because up until now, I’ve been inspired on a daily basis 💯

Somebody pinch me I have to be dreaming…I wheelied my bike for Vogue World Runway.

I don’t think wheelied is even a word, but it describes what I did. I still can’t believe I did that, and it really was a honor for me for so many reasons.

The first, The Devil Wears Prada.  I have seen this movie so many times, it is one of my go to feel good movies.  Who didn’t want to be Andy and land the job a million girls would kill for, but for me it was Andreas integrity in the movie. Her drive and hard work is what she wanted to be recognized for and I connect with that so much. I definitely need to read the book,because the book is ALWAYS better.

Also, Miranda Prisely who is based on Anna Wintour, Vogue’s editor-in-Chief since 1988 and Global Chief Content Officer is a BOSS ASS BITCH! Women can not be successful bosses without having the bitchy element and she stands confidently in hers. If it doesn’t align with her vision, its a hard no….unapologetically. I admire and aspire to channel that energy on all my endeavors.

And lastly it’s the alignment. I have been following my passions and have asked God and the Universe to have me booked and paid in all of them, and sheesh God has been working. I have been asking to wheelie Rihanna’s Savage x Fenty Fashion Show, and I got VOGUE!!! A magazine I remember my mother buying religiously when I was younger. The magazine that one of my favorite movies is loosely based on. VOGUE THE FASHION POWERHOUSE!!!!! And I got to wheelie my bike down that runway.

Still I can not believe it. I am beyond honored and grateful for this experience. The entire process, the long day for my fitting, the rehearsals in the rain, and the show we put on….it was such a dope moment to be apart of.  I was handpicked by such a phenomenal woman, who saw my potential to represent my community for her fashion show….man someone pinch me. This shit is crazy.

Collective NYC Rideout 4/24/2022

Cityscapes and the #bikelifenyc community. All shot by me 💁🏽‍♀️

Young M.A at Irving Plaza.

 I am a music fan.  Music is an escape for me, either I get lost in the lyrics of an artist, feeding off their energy from their flow to the beat or I actually get up and dance around and allow myself to release with the movement. 

A lot of my favorite artists, I admire not only for their music but the moves they make behind the scenes, the things they stand for and stand on. Young M.A I have so much respect for as a female rapper. Shes true to herself and has been true to herself her entire come up. 

TBH when I first heard OOUU I thought it was a dude, but when I seen M.A it made me pay attention. The song that really connected me to her was EAT. This is my favorite freestyle, the entire 5 minutes she keeps your attention to where you want to restart the song cuz the bar was to fire and you need to hear the delivery again.

Its the song I play when I need to remind myself who I am, cuz I can only allow myself to be emotional for so long before I gotta get back to it…it being life. Herstory JOOTD is another one when I am in my bag that I put on to remind me its okay to be down. Bonnie is my anthem to my man in my head lol. Yak Thoughts stirs emotions in me that only a few artist have tapped into. I lost my brother in 2020 and I really haven’t been the same since and this song lets me know thats okay and I am not alone in all the emotions and overthinking that comes with grief. “And bro I know that you gone but I still need you to live for me”.  

I got to see her live in person, and the energy was worth it. Even more delivery then the energy in her music and thats rare when artist perform. She iconic in my mind, and def can go toe to toe with other female legends off bars alone, BUT what else I admire is her business and brand mindset. 

Shes partnered with a black owned cognac liquor company, NYAK, which is so smart being that Henny is a favorite in the hood. She should have only had that liquor available at her show but thats just my opinion. She got her directing skills on her resume for an all female production porno. Like sis is really putting on for the ladies and its dope to watch because thats the type of time I am trying to be on myself. Empowered women empower women and shes definitely leading by example. The show was a vibe, Young MA is a dope artist for real 💯💯.

Looking to buy a camera Black Friday?…Insta360 is doing a Black Friday Sale.

I have to put everyone on…Insta360 is having a Black Friday Sale. I have a collection of cameras that I have gotten throughout the years.
I have a Nikon D3400, DJI Osmo Pocket, Pocket 2 and Action 2. I returned the DJI Osmo Action after using it for a day. I also have the Insta 360 Go2, One R, Nano, and One X 2.
Each one has its advantages and disadvantages. Insta360 is the camera for vloggers, travelers, content creators everything. Their cameras are waterproof. I loved my One R because it had 2 lenses that made it a 360 camera or a 4k action camera. You could record yourself with the screen mirroring you so you can see yourself as you Vlog. The One X2 you can do so many recording tricks with the pocket size camera. And My Go2’s size is so discreet people are always curious and the camera quality is amazing.
Using the accessories like the magnet chain to record myself wheeling isn’t overwhelming like the chest rigs with the go pro. Even mounting the camera on a helmet or hat, the weight isn’t annoying on your head while you ride.
The cameras are one thing. Insta360 takes it up a notch in the app making the editing super simple and user friendly. They also think about different social media platforms and have options to export your content in the ratio for the platform you use without compromising the quality of the video. So if you want the same clip in 16:9 for YouTube, 9:16 for TikTok or Reelz, and 1:1 for an IG post its super simple to do. You want all your footage for IG 9:16 select all choose the ratio and the app will export every clip to your phones library in the ratio you chose.
If I sold you and you plan to purchase any Insta 360 camera, USE MY AFFILIATE LINK so Insta360 can show me some love with commission. I am not sponsored by any camera company I have invested in all my cameras myself.

My latest city shots…some dope street art.

Whether if I am walking or riding, if I see dope street art I def have to stop what I am doing to get a pic. Beauty in simple things.

World Mental Health Day Rideout 10/10/2021

I love riding my bike and have found family in the #bikelifenyc community. When it comes to family I am protective over mine and I want everyone to reach their potential. Society, family, and life pressures impact how we see ourselves and our purpose on Earth. The Door is an amazing organization in the Lower East Side, 555 Broome street (spirit numbers 👀) and they offer a range of services for the youth 12-24 years old providing support for them to tap into their potential and discover their purpose.
Programs like this or Henry Street Settlement (where I was enrolled at growing up) keep kids busy after school by providing different things for them to do and different resources. It important to not only support organizations like this but to spread the awareness that they exist for the kids to know where they can tap in.
I was able to organize a rideout partnering with The Door bringing everything they offer to the bikelife community. With the help of GT Bicycles, Collective Bikes, BeSeenReflx, City Grounds, Dah Shop and BikeFixNYC we were able to fundraiser money, provide merch and raffles for bikes for the riders who popped out ending with a community BBQ at Dah Shop.
Friday at 8pm I will drop the full Vlog on YouTube and a reflection of the event in a blog post... For now enjoy these pictures from the day.